Liana DrakopoulouPsychologist · Utrecht
Journal

Notes on stress, anxiety and life abroad

Short notes on things many people go through, written in plain words. Each one is based on research. They are not a replacement for therapy.

A cup of coffee on a tray next to an open book and pink spring blossom, in soft sunlight
Latest note
Depression and low mood · 3 min read
When your mood is low, start with something small
Why doing a little more can help when you feel low, and four small steps to try this week.
Read the note
Five short notes

What can help

Each note explains one idea in a few sentences.

Anxiety and stress

Why sleep matters for how you feel

A review of 65 studies found that when people slept better, they also tended to feel less low, anxious and stressed.

Based on research by Scott et al. (2021).
Burnout and exhaustion

Burnout is not a personal weakness

Research shows that burnout usually grows out of a poor fit with work, such as too much to do, too little say, or values that clash.

Based on research by Maslach and Leiter (2016).
Adjustment to life abroad

Everyone settles in abroad in their own way

A large study of students living abroad found that everyone settles in differently. For some the start is hardest, for others the harder part comes later.

Based on research by Demes and Geeraert (2015).
Grief and loss

Grief is natural, and you do not have to carry it alone

When grief stays very intense for a long time, studies found that therapy focused on grief can help ease it.

Based on research by Komischke-Konnerup et al. (2024).
Self-esteem and identity

Being kinder to yourself is a skill that can be practised

Studies of programmes that teach self-compassion found that learning to treat yourself more kindly can ease low mood, anxiety and stress, and improve well-being.

Based on research by Kirby, Tellegen and Steindl (2017).

These notes are general information and do not replace advice from a professional who knows your situation.

Anxiety and stress

Why sleep matters for how you feel

Sleep and mood are closely linked. After a poor night, worries can feel bigger, small problems can feel harder to handle, and it can be more difficult to be patient with yourself and others.

Researchers combined the results of 65 studies in which people were helped to sleep better. When sleep improved, people on average also reported less low mood, anxiety, stress and repetitive worrying. The more their sleep improved, the larger these changes tended to be.

This does not mean that every difficulty comes from sleep. It does show that sleep is worth taking seriously. If you have been sleeping badly for some time, it is a good idea to mention it to your GP or bring it up in therapy.

Based on research by Scott et al. (2021).
Burnout and exhaustion

Burnout is not a personal weakness

Burnout is a response to stress at work that goes on for a long time. It often shows in three ways: feeling worn out, feeling distant or cynical about your work, and feeling that what you do no longer makes a difference.

Maslach and Leiter describe six areas where a poor fit between a person and their work can build up: workload, control, reward, community, fairness and values. When one or more of these stay out of balance for a long time, the risk of burnout grows.

Seeing burnout this way can ease some of the self-blame. It is not a sign that you are weak or not good enough. It is often a sign that something in the situation needs attention, and that you deserve support while you work out what that is.

Based on research by Maslach and Leiter (2016).
Adjustment to life abroad

Everyone settles in abroad in their own way

Moving to another country brings many changes at once: a new language, new routines, different habits at work or university, and often being far from family and old friends.

Researchers followed about 2,500 exchange students in more than 50 countries, before and during their time abroad. They found five different patterns in how stress changed over time. For some, stress was highest at the start. For others, it rose later on. Some felt fairly little stress throughout. How people coped with the changes was one of the things linked to these differences.

So if you are finding it hard, even after some time, it does not mean you are doing something wrong. Settling in looks different for everyone, and you do not have to work it out on your own.

Based on research by Demes and Geeraert (2015).
Grief and loss

Grief is natural, and you do not have to carry it alone

Grief is a natural response to losing someone. It can come in waves and can bring sadness, longing, anger, guilt or numbness. For many people, the pain slowly becomes easier to carry over time.

For some people, grief stays very intense for a long time and makes daily life hard. A review of 22 studies with more than 2,600 bereaved adults found that therapy focused on grief reduced this kind of long-lasting grief, and the effect was still present when people were asked again later.

You do not have to wait until it feels unbearable to talk to someone. Sharing what you are going through can be a support at any point.

Based on research by Komischke-Konnerup et al. (2024).
Self-esteem and identity

Being kinder to yourself is a skill that can be practised

Many people are much harder on themselves than they would ever be on a friend. When something goes wrong, the inner voice can quickly become critical and harsh.

Self-compassion means meeting yourself with the same warmth and understanding you would offer someone you care about. It is not about letting yourself off the hook. It is about noticing that you are having a hard time and responding with kindness.

A review of 21 studies on programmes that train compassion found that people who took part reported less depression, anxiety and distress, and more well-being, than people in comparison groups.

Based on research by Kirby, Tellegen and Steindl (2017).